I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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