Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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