office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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