Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
