I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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