If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Randomize
