I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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