Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
