ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
