I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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