How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
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