She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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