well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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