You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
