i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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