Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
