I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
