nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
