ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
