i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
