i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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