How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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