Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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