So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
