You really coming over, don't trick.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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