Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
