im gay
i know
yea but for you.
handjob tips. give me some.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
