Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
