So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
