If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
