We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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