Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
