i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
