so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
