Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You made out with two different species that night
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
