Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
