I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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