i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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