she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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