I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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