i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I'm gonna fight the coyote
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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