Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
