Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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