We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
