that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
