You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
