After last night, I could never be a politician.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Randomize
