Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
