is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
