I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
