I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize