okay pat passed out under dana's car
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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