Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
