Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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