He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
