come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
